Healing After Childhood Trauma: Techniques to Help Cope and Heal
“Who Will Help Me Stop the Hurt?” — A Survivor’s Cry and Journey to Healing
“It hurts. I want the hurt to stop. Who will help me stop the hurt?” My cries for help when the abuse escalated.
A child relies on their parents or caretakers to keep them safe. When a child is in the presence of a person who disregards their safety, devalues and dehumanizes their life, the child is at a high risk of being harmed.
Betrayal in a Place of Trust
A person in the small community where I was raised as a child, who was entrusted to take care of me, took the opportunity when I was alone with him to harm me. The abuse inflicted on me during childhood caused physical and emotional injury.
Sometimes I found ways to avoid the abuse: hiding, saying, “No!” and screaming. Other times, I was unable to escape and incurred injuries such as bruises and cuts.
Injuries hidden in plain sight were emotional injuries: fear and anxiety, anguish, distress, distrust, and shame. To escape the pain and find comfort from the intense fear I felt toward my perpetrator, I prayed. Prayer proved to be one technique I relied on to help me heal from the wounds of abuse.
Finding Peace Through Faith
I learned to pray to God at an early age because my Mom taught me that the God we prayed to is a living God, not just an idea. My prayers were heard by God who not only created me but also loves me in every moment I take a breath and never leaves any of His people.
I believed that no matter where I was, who I was with, and what was happening in any circumstance, I had free access to pray for God’s help and direction. In turn, my rumbling, terrorized soul was comforted with peace only God gives by His living Spirit.
One evening an intruder wearing a blue zip-up jacket and trousers entered my bedroom and terrorized me. I was seven years old. The fear I felt was so intense I succumbed to accepting I would die. Instead, I lived through it.
In response, I began to pray desperately and reasoned that if I fall asleep, God may not hear me. So I pushed my palms together in a prayer position and lay on my side, tucking my hands under my cheek. The heaviness of my head would hold my hands together in prayer, and God would listen and care for me as I slept.
John 14:27 (NIV) tells us:
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
Ephesians 2:18 (NLT) reminds us:
And Hebrews 10:19–23 (ESV) takes us into a deeper understanding of why we are given access to draw near to a Holy God and rest in His presence when we pray:
“Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.”
Tools That Helped Me Heal
Other techniques I learned during the years I went to therapy included purging details of abuse using creative journaling methods, taking long walks, enrolling in an art class, and limiting the people in my life to those who encouraged me and showed patience and love during the years I struggled and traveled through my healing journey.
Dr. Heather Davediuk Gingrich beautifully writes about her 40+ years of experience as a therapist helping victims heal in her books, “Restoring the Shattered Self” and “ Shattered No More! Healing for Survivors of Abuse, Interpersonal Violence, and Complex Trauma”. She offers an extensive list of coping techniques and mechanisms in Appendix B, page 287.
Dr. Gingrich developed and coordinated the Graduate Certificate in Trauma Therapy at the Chapman School of Graduate Studies at Toccoa Falls College in Georgia. Her successful methods for helping victims of trauma include grounding techniques within the therapy session, which is vital to a client’s ability to stay in touch with the here-and-now rather than getting lost in the traumatic memory.
She also emphasizes strategies for keeping the client within the Affective Window of Tolerance , which is essential to successfully processing a particularly traumatic event. You can learn more through workshops through the American Association of Christian Counselors where she teaches workshops , Shattered No More: Effective and Safe Trauma Processing. As well as her authored books.
Final Thoughts
My journey seemed long and it brought with it various forms of pain. With that said, I experienced healing, peace, and purpose that in turn surpassed the pain from my past. If you're walking through trauma or supporting someone who is, know this: there is hope and there is help. And most importantly, you are not alone.
Additional resources:
David Mathias, When You Pray: Speaking to God Alone and Together
Calvary Grace Conference | Calgary, Topic: Prayer, https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/when-you-pray, July 24, 2024
Janet McHenry, authors books about prayer, hide link (https://www.janetmchenry.com/prayer-school
Heather Davediuk Gingrich, Shattered No More,
See her media interview on the Schilling Show: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=541892141688564,
Find her book at: https://www.mhbclogos.org/product/shattered-no-more/
https://www.amazon.com/Shattered-No-More-Survivors-Interpersonal-ebook/dp/B0DBMGQY5N
Go to my resource page for suggested contact information, https://www.alligatorintheocean.com/resources
BE BRAVE. BE SAFE. PERSEVERE.
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