Reclaiming your power after abuse: Self-empowerment for power based violent abuse survivors
Power is taken away, robbed—forced, from you, when another human being intentionally harms you. In various ways the perpetrator that victimized me, planned and practiced how he rendered me powerless to successfully perpetrate harm, damage, and injury. The injuries you’ve incurred may affect you differently than I, according to the circumstances of the crime/abuse. The degree of pain and various levels of pain that each victim experiences, from the skin to the soul, is unique to each individual. How you react at the time of the abuse and after is also unique to each individual.
What we all have in common as victims, is that our ability to use the human power created within us to protect ourselves was forced from us, in some way and harm resulted. Do you want to reclaim power that you lost when you were victimized? How? And what does that look like?
Taking Back Your Power
Facing the truth is a good start. As long as you live on earth, the power of life remains within you. With that said I started with simple activities. I intentionally took walks, breathed and prayed. I sat with my children and listened to their conversations while we colored pictures at the kitchen table. These simple and free experiences were within my power to enjoy. I found the truth in each new day. And each new day was one day farther away from the moment the crisis occurred.
Replace laughter with discouragement when you can. One morning, shortly after the perpetrators arrest, my three year old daughter opened the front door to let the cat in. The cat carried a live mouse into the house and released the mouse under the kitchen table. My 5 year old son tried to catch it. I grabbed a broom and ran after it, wielding and whacking while it scurried through the living room, up on the sofa, and into the hallway. The kids belly giggled and cheered me on to the final whack. I picked up the mouse by the tail and tossed it out in the yard. Their laughter, their cheers, their joy resonated in a powerful way for me that morning. The bacteria ridden filth spreading rodent could have been a discouragement for me as it was back then, one more unpleasant task overwhelmed me. Instead, I chose to enjoy the moment with my children even in the midst of an ongoing crisis.
The Path to Empowerment
I challenge you to ask yourself the same question that I pondered. “Do I want to rise up from the weight of this defeated place of being a victim and claim myself back, worthy of living a full and good life?” When I answered “yes,” the power within me was evident. Hope returned and enthusiasm to move away from the pain toward healing followed.
Patience, slowing down to care for my injuries, and surrounding myself with people who care helped to renew my energy and encouraged me to heal. That is empowerment. Find someone who cares enough to listen and give solid healthy guidance and suggestions. I prayerfully sought out and found a licensed therapist as well as staying connected with a couple of friends who encouraged me. I balanced my daily tasks better, letting go of unnecessary, time-consuming activities. I chose courage to take charge of sorting through and purging the details that still hurt. I addressed the harm to my body and learned ways to heal from those wounds. I committed to therapy sessions where I located a safe place to talk and journaled using creative expressions and techniques—more than words and sentences. There I grew confidence to emote without fear of judgment. I enrolled in a self-defense class that, in turn, delivered incredible results to strengthen my fragile low self-esteem. And I put into practice trusting God who loves me through hardship with daily prayer, studied scripture, read helpful books, and made a conscious effort to give over the pains of my past, daily, into the hands of God. It took effort to care for myself. And as a result I felt rebuilt, renovated, bigger and better than I did before the crisis.
A Morning Prayer for Healing
Do you feel overwelmed, imprisoned, unsafe, or afraid? Do you feel powerless because of this? If so, find help? You are valuable, important, and you deserve to get help. Prayer is one way I moved forward when I felt powerless in my thoughts about past abuse. If you don’t know how to pray or you are unsure what to pray, I relied on Psalm 5: I’ve written this prayer for you based on Psalm 5.
Psalm 5 Morning Pray
Lord, My God. God of all, I’m awake. It is morning. I know you are here with me. Please, listen now. My thoughts tell the story of pain and torment inflicted on me by those who seek to harm me. I am overwhelmed with fear, sadness, and doubt. In a loud and desperate voice I turn my thoughts into words and cry out to you. My injuries and struggles attached to me torment me. I need help. I know you hear my cry. I look up to you this morning and know you are everywhere all the time and you hear me because you love me. I am not too small that you can’t see me nor am I too quiet that you can’t hear me. You see and hear everything even if it’s hidden and even if it’s inaudible. You hear not only my words and know my voice, but also know my thoughts in the unspoken places of my heart. You understand and know what torments me. I look up and know you hold my pain in your hands with power no one can fathom. And your power to love, comfort, and heal the brokenhearted is poured over me and through me according to your perfect will. I will wait now on your answers and your guidance in each new morning. Amen.
The Importance of Self-Care
Empowerment starts with the truth about how valuable you are as a person and who you were created to be. Take care of yourself. Utilize the power that was intentionally created in you. “I am fearfully and wonderfully made…you knit me together in my mother’s womb,” as described in Psalm 139: 13-14. Care for yourself with love, balance, generosity, and wisdom.
I’ve provided helpful tips written by Dr. Mark Hicks, in his Learning Love newsletter, When Tragedy Strikes, 02/13/2025. He offers incredible suggestions for what healthy self-care looks like.
“Taking care of yourself is always important, but when life throws something heavy your way—like stress, grief, or caregiving—it becomes absolutely essential. Here are some simple but meaningful ways to prioritize your well-being:
1. Take Care of Your Emotions
Feel Your Feelings – It’s okay to be sad, angry, overwhelmed, or even numb. Let yourself process those emotions instead of bottling them up.
Lean on Others – Whether it’s close friends, family, a therapist, or a support group, talking about what you’re going through can be a huge relief.
Set Boundaries – Give yourself permission to say no when you need to. Protect your energy.
2. Look After Your Body
Get Enough Rest – Sleep is often the first thing to suffer in stressful times, but it’s one of the most important things for your health. Aim for 7-9 hours a night.
Move Your Body – You don’t have to hit the gym—just stretch, take a walk, or do some yoga to release tension and boost your mood.
Eat Well & Stay Hydrated – Stress can mess with your appetite, but fueling your body with nourishing foods and plenty of water helps keep your energy up.
3. Give Your Mind a Break
Take Small Pauses – Even a few minutes of stepping away from stress—whether it’s a walk outside, deep breathing, or listening to music—can help.
Avoid Overload – Break things into manageable steps, and don’t feel like you have to do everything at once.
Try Mindfulness – Whether it’s meditation, journaling, or simply focusing on your breath, a little mindfulness can go a long way.
4. Stay Connected
Reach Out – Even if you don’t feel like talking, keeping in touch with people who care about you can provide comfort.
Ask for Help – Let people support you. Whether it’s bringing a meal, running an errand, or just sitting with you, people want to help.
Find Small Joys – Even in tough times, little moments—like listening to a favorite song, enjoying a cup of coffee, or laughing at a funny movie—can bring comfort.
5. Tap Into What Grounds You
Reflect or Pray – If faith or spirituality is part of your life, lean into it. It can provide strength and peace.
Find Meaning – Writing, talking, or even creative outlets can help you process emotions and find purpose during difficult times.
Get Outside – Fresh air and nature can be incredibly healing, even if it’s just a short walk.
At the end of the day, self-care isn’t about being perfect—it’s about doing what helps you feel a little more balanced and supported. Even small steps can make a big difference. Be kind to yourself. These are the wise suggestions.”
Thank you Dr. Hicks.
When we act on these suggestions we empower ourselves toward healing. Remember…
Be brave. Be wise. Be safe.
Seek professional help immediately if you or someone you know is being harmed.
And/or Call 911.
Go to my resource page for suggested contact information, HELP
This blog is for informational purposes only. Anina Swan LLC Blog makes no warranties, expressed, implied or statutory as to the information in this document.