Dr. Barone suggested I write a letter to the people from my early childhood that I had unresolved issues with. However, I didn’t have to send it if I didn’t want to. I never mailed the twenty-page letter. Instead, I gave it to Dr. Barone to read. The content of the letter opened a door to explore the possibility I suffered early childhood trauma.
“Did you have any traumatic experiences when you were young?”
“No. Never broke a bone. No car accidents. No falls.”
“Were you molested when you were young?”
“Of course not.” I would remember if I were molested.
I looked over Dr. Barone’s chair at the book case against the wall. I studied each book, their color, size, shape and admired the order they were placed in. It reminded me of the bookshelf in Idaho. Then I saw it. The shadow with no face appeared in my mind's eye.
“There is one thing. But I thinks it’s a re-occurring dream. I’m not sure.”
“Can you describe it to me?”
"I don't know."
"There's a shadow."
“Do you recognize the shadow?”
“He doesn’t have a face.”
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Can a person forget their childhood trauma?
Research argues the answer to that question. However, many researchers that study the effects of childhood trauma report that sometimes the details of suffering are blocked and not available to retrieve over an unknown amount of time.
Be safe. Be accurate. Be brave.