After attending my parent’s 25 anniversary celebration, I was convinced my daughter Hannah was mistreated while in the care of Ivan, one of my relatives. However, I had no proof. I didn’t witness Ivan harming her—discovery. She didn’t tell me Ivan hurt her—disclosure. I only suspected Ivan hurt her based on her behavior—suspicion. 

Our journey home took an entire day. We left the rain forests of the Pacific Northwest, traveled up and down mountain passes, across state lines and up and down more mountain passes. The long drive gave me plenty of time to think.

My insides feel like someone poured concrete down my throat and hardened in the center of my soul. What’s wrong with me?

My thoughts darted to unresolved issues with friends in high school and junior high, bad decisions, tension with my siblings, and tension toward my husband. After each thought, the dread grew in intensity and pilfered my peace of mind. My thoughts cycled with no resolve and no relief.

What’s happening to me?

Click to access all archived narratives to this story here.


Suspecting a child is being abused is the first step to rescuing the child. Click to read more here Child Abuse Prevention 


  Be safe. Be accurate. Be brave.