It happened in December 1986, as I drove home. My thoughts broke free from a knot of vague details. The truth appeared as clear and straight as the road ahead of me. I clung to the steering wheel because it was the only part of life I had control of at that moment. 

“Just a little farther and I’m home,” were the words I whispered before my throat tightened to what felt like life’s last breath—the life I would soon be leaving behind.

I don’t remember parking in the driveway only running toward the front door. I wanted to run faster to escape the anguish or get to a place as quickly as possible to release the anguish. Finding my keys and unlocking the door seemed like an eternity.   Once inside, I dropped to my knees on the wood floor and leaned forward to cry--no tears, no sound.

I wrapped my arms around myself for comfort. Instead, my stomach muscles seized. Desperate to feel and hear my voice weeping, I pushed air out of my lungs. Nothing but suffocating grief as I recalled the kid’s behavior while visiting relatives up north--their fear, their apprehension and their resistance to being babysat at the home of one relative…

When I suspected two of our three children were abused by someone I thought I could trust, my suffering for my children’s suffering felt like drowning—every breath I took suffocated me with grief—I wasn’t there to protect them. Shame—How could I’ve prevented this? Concern—Will they heal? Doubt—Can we stop the perpetrator? Fear—Is my family safe? Learn more about child abuse. Click here.



When you first suspect or discover a child has been or sexually abused, assaulted, and/or violated: Contact your local law enforcement: police, sheriff, and ask for a Juvenile Detective. Your not alone. Learn more here.

Be safe, be accurate, and be brave as you document details in all steps of suspecting and/or discovering child abuse. CLICK HERE--NEXT STEP to find quick resources that may help.


Be safe. Be accurate. Be brave.